short story:
15 mins
The hate list:
30 mins
TLOF:
1 1/2 hours
total: 175 mins
Monday, November 18, 2013
Visualizing a race: sorry I write a lot
"Visualization"
Not long ago a boy in my group at TAQ gave his talk about it, and how he thinks it works. I just told a story of how I became a swimmer and whats happened since.
The boy talked about how it didn't matter what song, or what race, if he listened and closed his eyes to picture the race, it would go well.
This comes from one of the fastest year-round swimmers in the state.
He played a song. I don't remember what song. I've heard it on the radio at practice, but I don't listen to the radio anywhere else. He made us close our eyes, and then a bunch of us decided to lay down. The speakers were not cheap, and they were the opposite of quiet. So I did what he said and envisioned a race.
True, I already do this at every meet, but it really captured an essence in that moment.
Coming up in, oh 40 hours is the state meet. Why don't we see if I can get a race into words. Which race should I do? I'm swimming the 200 free, 500 free, and two relays. I'm expected to get second in both behind the same junior in both races who is a year-round coach's daughter, who is going to break the state records by a lot. Ok, I'm going to do the 500. I swim this race only once, on thursday (finals).
20 laps, I am going to be in lane 5, next to the junior. Swimmers in the finals (top 8) go to a ready room before the race. The top seat picks a song that everyone walks up to the blocks with. They announce the names, and schools cheer for their swimmers. Someone will be counting for me, sticking a number into the pool so I don't have to worry about mixing up numbers. So lets begin.
I'm in the ready room. I was sitting but who can do that anymore, the race is next. I've written my name on the chair, and now I stand in my black tiger aquatics parka ( michael phelps wears one for reference, its extremely warm and just amazing) I'm wearing my tech suit (suit that goes to the knees, costs $250-550, and takes 30 mins to an hour to get on), and I'm stretching, jumping up and down and swinging my arms around. The music starts. Lane 1 walks out and we follow in a line. I shrug off my parka and throw it on a bleacher. I put my goggles on and stare at the setting water. "In lane 8 ----" *cheering* "lane 1---" and so on. "In lane 5, Bailey --- from -----"... "and your top seed for the girls 500 yard freestyle, Victoria ---- from -----"
*long whistle*
We get onto the blocks, some people get into a starting position, but I don't, it messes with blood flow you need when you dive. "take your marks"
*hideous sound I can't even come up with something to say here*
And we're in the water. As expected, Victoria is sprinting. But I can't race her, I'd die off. Swim my own race, which is still sprinting, just not quite so fast. No number on the first lap, not that it matters until the last lap though. I count by 50 yards. 10x 50s. Ten is easier to think about then 20. The beeping of a pacer rings in my ear, oh god I hope its fast enough. As the number gets higher and higher, I do something almost no one else can. I get increasingly faster. Only way to tell your not dying is to give enough effort to be as good or better than you started. I get closer and closer to the end and I just swim as fast as I can, I won't actually die, and if I have anything left after the race and I'm not happy with my time, well thats a lot of negative thinking for the relays. At this point it doesn't matter where anyone in the race is, only me, and on my last 50, my brain knows its almost over and decides to start feeling exhausted, but I ignore it and drive myself into the wall, and gasp for air and lay on the wall until I decide to look at the score board to find -
Not long ago a boy in my group at TAQ gave his talk about it, and how he thinks it works. I just told a story of how I became a swimmer and whats happened since.
The boy talked about how it didn't matter what song, or what race, if he listened and closed his eyes to picture the race, it would go well.
This comes from one of the fastest year-round swimmers in the state.
He played a song. I don't remember what song. I've heard it on the radio at practice, but I don't listen to the radio anywhere else. He made us close our eyes, and then a bunch of us decided to lay down. The speakers were not cheap, and they were the opposite of quiet. So I did what he said and envisioned a race.
True, I already do this at every meet, but it really captured an essence in that moment.
Coming up in, oh 40 hours is the state meet. Why don't we see if I can get a race into words. Which race should I do? I'm swimming the 200 free, 500 free, and two relays. I'm expected to get second in both behind the same junior in both races who is a year-round coach's daughter, who is going to break the state records by a lot. Ok, I'm going to do the 500. I swim this race only once, on thursday (finals).
20 laps, I am going to be in lane 5, next to the junior. Swimmers in the finals (top 8) go to a ready room before the race. The top seat picks a song that everyone walks up to the blocks with. They announce the names, and schools cheer for their swimmers. Someone will be counting for me, sticking a number into the pool so I don't have to worry about mixing up numbers. So lets begin.
I'm in the ready room. I was sitting but who can do that anymore, the race is next. I've written my name on the chair, and now I stand in my black tiger aquatics parka ( michael phelps wears one for reference, its extremely warm and just amazing) I'm wearing my tech suit (suit that goes to the knees, costs $250-550, and takes 30 mins to an hour to get on), and I'm stretching, jumping up and down and swinging my arms around. The music starts. Lane 1 walks out and we follow in a line. I shrug off my parka and throw it on a bleacher. I put my goggles on and stare at the setting water. "In lane 8 ----" *cheering* "lane 1---" and so on. "In lane 5, Bailey --- from -----"... "and your top seed for the girls 500 yard freestyle, Victoria ---- from -----"
*long whistle*
We get onto the blocks, some people get into a starting position, but I don't, it messes with blood flow you need when you dive. "take your marks"
*hideous sound I can't even come up with something to say here*
And we're in the water. As expected, Victoria is sprinting. But I can't race her, I'd die off. Swim my own race, which is still sprinting, just not quite so fast. No number on the first lap, not that it matters until the last lap though. I count by 50 yards. 10x 50s. Ten is easier to think about then 20. The beeping of a pacer rings in my ear, oh god I hope its fast enough. As the number gets higher and higher, I do something almost no one else can. I get increasingly faster. Only way to tell your not dying is to give enough effort to be as good or better than you started. I get closer and closer to the end and I just swim as fast as I can, I won't actually die, and if I have anything left after the race and I'm not happy with my time, well thats a lot of negative thinking for the relays. At this point it doesn't matter where anyone in the race is, only me, and on my last 50, my brain knows its almost over and decides to start feeling exhausted, but I ignore it and drive myself into the wall, and gasp for air and lay on the wall until I decide to look at the score board to find -
Anomaly... ok I'll take it
How do you look at stereotypes and how do they affect you?
Stereotypes. See the thing about these classifications is that when a person thinks they "belong" with people that could be seen as a stereotype, or decide to shape their personality to one because its "cool". I see the stereotypes, I hang out with people that shape themselves to them, and yeah my friends are awesome and I think plenty of people are "cool". However, thats what confuses my friends about me. I don't want to be "cool" I want to be me. So what if I like that shirt, or that band? Yeah, I do have very weird combinations of music. But because I have three my chemical romance shirts doesn't mean I wear all black and dye my hair. I went to a Mumford and sons concert a couple of months ago, which was absolutely amazing, and my friend and I were probably the only ones not wearing a headband across our foreheads or high-waisted shorts.
Sometimes I wonder what "stereotype" people see me as. After halloween my friend's boyfriend had a fight with his friend because he hung out with her and "her goth friends" I heard that and kinda sat there for a second. "but I am not goth." I can see him thinking the other person there was but not really me. My friend assured me I'm not and said it was because the kid only met me at a halloween party which is very understandable. So I thought some more and then started asking people what they thought about what "stereotype" I classify under. One said anomaly, another unique, and the other just couldn't come up with a word until she said trippy, which is a word I have taken to using on occasion.
Back to explain the whole, "I don't want to be cool" thing. First of all, if everyone is cool then no one is. Kinda like in the incredibles, "and when everyone's super, no one will be." So being cool is the "normal" and well if being normal means giving up things I like, things I like to do, ideas I have, etc. just to be a part of a stereotype is it really worth it?
And then theres the people that get confused by this, "Oh she's just trying to be cool by saying she doesn't want to be." Ok. If you think that, good for you. Your probably wasting time being negative about it though, judging people doesn't actually make a difference unless you say something to someone that has potential to be hurt by what you say.
"When you showed me myself, I became someone else"
- Michael Stipe and Chris Martin In the sun
Don't tell someone your opinion on what they are, especially if its biased on whats "cool". The best thing in the world is if someone can have a dream for their life and chase it, no matter how far away or different.
And wow that turned out way different then expected, and no this isn't a life lesson, and you don't have to take this personally. Just my personal view of the world.
Stereotypes. See the thing about these classifications is that when a person thinks they "belong" with people that could be seen as a stereotype, or decide to shape their personality to one because its "cool". I see the stereotypes, I hang out with people that shape themselves to them, and yeah my friends are awesome and I think plenty of people are "cool". However, thats what confuses my friends about me. I don't want to be "cool" I want to be me. So what if I like that shirt, or that band? Yeah, I do have very weird combinations of music. But because I have three my chemical romance shirts doesn't mean I wear all black and dye my hair. I went to a Mumford and sons concert a couple of months ago, which was absolutely amazing, and my friend and I were probably the only ones not wearing a headband across our foreheads or high-waisted shorts.
Sometimes I wonder what "stereotype" people see me as. After halloween my friend's boyfriend had a fight with his friend because he hung out with her and "her goth friends" I heard that and kinda sat there for a second. "but I am not goth." I can see him thinking the other person there was but not really me. My friend assured me I'm not and said it was because the kid only met me at a halloween party which is very understandable. So I thought some more and then started asking people what they thought about what "stereotype" I classify under. One said anomaly, another unique, and the other just couldn't come up with a word until she said trippy, which is a word I have taken to using on occasion.
Back to explain the whole, "I don't want to be cool" thing. First of all, if everyone is cool then no one is. Kinda like in the incredibles, "and when everyone's super, no one will be." So being cool is the "normal" and well if being normal means giving up things I like, things I like to do, ideas I have, etc. just to be a part of a stereotype is it really worth it?
And then theres the people that get confused by this, "Oh she's just trying to be cool by saying she doesn't want to be." Ok. If you think that, good for you. Your probably wasting time being negative about it though, judging people doesn't actually make a difference unless you say something to someone that has potential to be hurt by what you say.
"When you showed me myself, I became someone else"
- Michael Stipe and Chris Martin In the sun
Don't tell someone your opinion on what they are, especially if its biased on whats "cool". The best thing in the world is if someone can have a dream for their life and chase it, no matter how far away or different.
And wow that turned out way different then expected, and no this isn't a life lesson, and you don't have to take this personally. Just my personal view of the world.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
free post
State. Ok well Bailey you need to calm down. This is your fourth high school state meet, and your fourteenth state meet. Yes you are racing someone faster than you, who happens to be 2-3 years older than you, and the daughter of a year-round coach. Yes, you will get second no matter what you do. So what are you worried about? Times? You will be upset about your time even if you make sectionals so your just making it worse. Your art teacher could tell theres something wrong, but its not state is it? So what is it?
Ok sorry that was my train of thought... So yeah state is in a week and I have no reason to stress about it and if I really think about it thats not what it is. Something else is bothering me and I don't even know what it is. My life is actually imploding right now. I know I need to figure out what it is thats messing with me and fix it... But I don't know how.
reading times this week and last week if thats not too late
the hate list:
1 hour 10/28
1 hour 10/30
30 mins 11/1
total- 150 mins
The hate list-
15 mins 11/6
the Lord of the flies
30 mins- 11/8
1 hour and 30 mins 11/10
total- 135 mins
1 hour 10/28
1 hour 10/30
30 mins 11/1
total- 150 mins
The hate list-
15 mins 11/6
the Lord of the flies
30 mins- 11/8
1 hour and 30 mins 11/10
total- 135 mins
island activity
I'm not really sure how this would have played out in real life, but I am sure I would have gotten frustrated and wandered off way before anyone could get organized and calm down. Probably people would argue enough to get exhausted until they finally just figure something out so they can calm down and find food and somewhere to sleep.
I really think after they pulled it together they could come up with a good system, but by then I wouldn't even get involved because I would basically tell myself they don't need or want my help. I mean I would go back and do what they told me, but I wouldn't try and change anything. I think that some people will still think they are right about something that isn't being done, and some that complain constantly about the situation they are in. Some people would try and make it appear as if they know more about something like camp fires and such when they are really just trying to appear valuable and in charge of a situation.
I really think after they pulled it together they could come up with a good system, but by then I wouldn't even get involved because I would basically tell myself they don't need or want my help. I mean I would go back and do what they told me, but I wouldn't try and change anything. I think that some people will still think they are right about something that isn't being done, and some that complain constantly about the situation they are in. Some people would try and make it appear as if they know more about something like camp fires and such when they are really just trying to appear valuable and in charge of a situation.
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