literacy narrative

I think my literacy narrative is good for the part in the process that its in. I know that some sentences don't really make sense, but the first time I write something, well most of what comes from my mind doesn't make sense anyway so if its at all understandable I can work with that. I could probably make it a bit more vivid, and put more things that make the scene in it pull you more into what's going on. The problem is that the scene is from when I was younger and I don't remember it down to every detail. The way I write is also the way I think, and not the way I talk, so it's a bit conflicting and even though it seems right, when I was reading it to the peer group I wondered if it was strange that some words I use in my writing but don't use when I talk make my voice in the paper seem off to people who know me.